We all come up against things in our lives that we would have better forgotten. But is that truly wise? If we make certain choices in our lives, we need to be able to live with those consequences. And those consequences shouldn't be easy to live with. That's what reminds us of what is right and wrong.
I find myself going over all the things that I've done or had done to me in my life. I've always tried very hard never to lay blame at someones doorstep, but to understand the reasons behind what they did. Sometimes the reasons make sense, most of the time they don't. I mean, it would be very easy to sink into a depression or become bitter. But that's not the person I want to be! So why should I fall into that trap?
We, each, make our own happiness. Pain is, also, a part of life. And every incidence in our lives is a lesson learned. It shows us what is true, right and reliable. We can lean on others, but have to rely on ourselves.
The reason all of this has come up is due to certain crisis' in my life recently. Some work related, most personal. I could shake my fist at God, asking why did this have to happen to me or I could pick myself, dust myself off and go on. Go on, thinking about what did happen, how did it come to happen and what can I do to turn that outcome into around, thus making life better for everyone concerned.
For instance, today at work we had someone quit just before a fundraising event. I was left a little bereft and shaken at the work I now had to take on. Could I do it in time (this Friday)? How much more was left to do? But, by the end of the work day....I came to realize that all I could do was my best and trust in those around me to help and give guidance.
Someone else in that situation may have given up or become frustrated or even angry. Why? That seems more a waste of time than just moving forward and doing what you know how to do (plus learning a few new tricks along the way).
So, the cold hard truth is that shit happens! Right?? But, it's not the fact that it happens or happens to you, but how you deal with it. So, hold your head high, do your best and trust that in the end all will be made right. It may take longer than you thought it would or take a different tack all together. But, life goes on and must we. For better or worse, we are all in this together. So, when you see someone having a bad day and being less than congenial, lend a helping hand and not slap them down......that person could be you one day and probably has been already.
Cheers and keep smiling! You are the only one who can truly make you happy. :-)
Monday, April 9, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Moving forward
Ok, it's been a while since I lasted posted. It's been so busy around here! I know, I know, no excuses :-)
But it has been pretty rough lately. Halee isn't doing well in school this year. She's been bullied a great deal. You know, it's tough enough on teenagers/kids who don't have to deal with Aspergers! But when you add that (or any other disorder) to the mix....well. It's tough to handle. So, we're going to put her in private school next year. One that's specifically geared to those with Aspergers. I think she'll feel more comfortable and able to focus on her academics. Let's face it, she only has 2 years left after this year.
And, on top of that, her father and I have been going through a very rough patch of our own. As a parent, you try very hard to not let your kids see or hear anything of what's going on. But, if we're realistic, that's not possible.
On the bright side (and there always is), Halee's now doing more on the computer at home. That's a plus as she's not very proficient or comfortable with it. AND, spring is finally here!!
I love this time of the year! There's just a fresh smell to the air and everything is blooming. Halee is in a therapy group with other girls her own age who have Aspergers. It's really good for her. She smiles more! That's the one thing she doesn't do as much as she did when she was younger. I noticed that when going through some old photos the other day. I miss her smile! I mean, I'm so much the optimist and she's completely opposite. That's so hard! I want to see things as they are, not as we perceive them. Life is always filled with ups and downs. It's how we grow and gain knowledge.
Sometimes....no, most of the time, you have to look to the simple things in life. Those are what mean the most. Like earlier tonight, I sat and watched a thunderstorm roll through. Most people would just say...Rain, again! And, it's true, it's rained a lot lately on the east coast. But, then again, stop and see how the rain drops hit the windows. How the wind moves through the trees. It's really refreshing. You can feel the afternoon heat leave the air as the storm cools everything down. And, tomorrow morning, more flowers will be in bloom and the birds will be singing. People, that's FREE!!
So, no matter how tough life gets....there will always be an upside! And the first place you need to look to for that is yourself. It's there, always has been and always will be.
So, ciao for now and enjoy St. Patrick's Day weekend everyone!!!
But it has been pretty rough lately. Halee isn't doing well in school this year. She's been bullied a great deal. You know, it's tough enough on teenagers/kids who don't have to deal with Aspergers! But when you add that (or any other disorder) to the mix....well. It's tough to handle. So, we're going to put her in private school next year. One that's specifically geared to those with Aspergers. I think she'll feel more comfortable and able to focus on her academics. Let's face it, she only has 2 years left after this year.
And, on top of that, her father and I have been going through a very rough patch of our own. As a parent, you try very hard to not let your kids see or hear anything of what's going on. But, if we're realistic, that's not possible.
On the bright side (and there always is), Halee's now doing more on the computer at home. That's a plus as she's not very proficient or comfortable with it. AND, spring is finally here!!
I love this time of the year! There's just a fresh smell to the air and everything is blooming. Halee is in a therapy group with other girls her own age who have Aspergers. It's really good for her. She smiles more! That's the one thing she doesn't do as much as she did when she was younger. I noticed that when going through some old photos the other day. I miss her smile! I mean, I'm so much the optimist and she's completely opposite. That's so hard! I want to see things as they are, not as we perceive them. Life is always filled with ups and downs. It's how we grow and gain knowledge.
Sometimes....no, most of the time, you have to look to the simple things in life. Those are what mean the most. Like earlier tonight, I sat and watched a thunderstorm roll through. Most people would just say...Rain, again! And, it's true, it's rained a lot lately on the east coast. But, then again, stop and see how the rain drops hit the windows. How the wind moves through the trees. It's really refreshing. You can feel the afternoon heat leave the air as the storm cools everything down. And, tomorrow morning, more flowers will be in bloom and the birds will be singing. People, that's FREE!!
So, no matter how tough life gets....there will always be an upside! And the first place you need to look to for that is yourself. It's there, always has been and always will be.
So, ciao for now and enjoy St. Patrick's Day weekend everyone!!!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
A Little Credit......
Well, if the title isn't a loaded question, I don't know what is!
Anyone who's read my previous posts knows I have a daughter with Asperger's. Well, several months back, we joined a local Charlotte group of Aspies. It's been great!! In fact, I think I enjoy the group more than my daughter.
I talk to this group (my new friends) and am just amazed at how smart and open they are! Sure, they have difficulties in social situations and so forth, but who doesn't from time to time. I've become close to some in the group and really enjoy my conversations with them. It's actually helped me with Halee as well, since a lot of the group are adults. They know they're different and try to make up for it. Honestly, I don't see where they need to make up for anything. So, they're different....so what?!
We're all different!! Isn't that the point? Superficially, we're all different. Fundamentally, we're all the same. We want to be liked and accepted for who we are. Everyone wants to be happy....and coming to that:
I had a conversation this past weekend from one of the members of the Aspie Group and it got pretty deep. Which suits me just fine! We started talking about happiness and choices. He couldn't believe that I had had any bad or depressing moments in my life. He said, "But you seem so Happy-Go-Lucky". I told him it was my choice to be so. I could wallow in those bad moments in my life or I could take the lessons offered and make myself a better, more compassionate person. I choose the latter....always will. I told him the bad things are always in your face, but it seems the good things are harder to find. But, most people live with their eyes closed. The happiest things in life are the simplest....the rising of the sun, the wind through your hair, a child's laugh.
Is it right that we take those things for granted? And I know everyone right now (especially in this country) are feeling things in a bad way. But, isn't this time when we should be coming together? To realize that that fancy car or house isn't what is going to make us truly happy? Everyone is into the "blame game" as well. Blaming the current president, blaming other countries, blaming the other guy. What about blaming yourselves? No one forced us to buy the big houses, over-extend our credit, not plan for the future. These problems started long ago.....it's called GREED!! And we are all to blame for it in one form or another.
But, that can change. We know what the problems are, so let's start looking for the solutions. I guess that's where my exchanges with the Aspie Group have helped. I look at the day-to-day issues they face, with social skills, anxieties, the works. A lot of them feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and have for years. Now, can you imagine that for yourself? What we feel is felt ten-fold by them! But, talking with them and helping them......I help not only myself, but everyone around me. I tell them, work on one thing at a time. Make a choice to be happy.
I was asked if that was hard to do on a daily basis. YES!! But, again, I could choose to live my life in fear or pain as well. I much prefer happiness. It really is worth the effort. I've told them to find that one thing that calms them. Use it as meditation, if you like. So then, when things seem out of control focus on that one thing that makes you calm.
And then again, (Have I said how much I love this group?) they asked about those who have no choice. Say, if you're faced with an impossible situation. I told them it's still a choice. If someone is holding a gun at your head, threatening to shoot....you can either shoot them first or allow them to shoot you. IT'S A CHOICE. Never said all the choices we make were good ones, just that they are choices. And once you realize that, it becomes easier to take that road less traveled....plus, it's more fun ;-)
Granted, you can't be happy all the time. How would one understand what true happiness is if you never experienced the pain and suffering of life? They go hand in hand. We just have to learn to be there for one another. Lately, it's been about "me, me, me" and not enough "we, we, we". That truly needs to change if the human race is to survive as a whole. By helping others, we truly help ourselves. And I don't mean just throwing money at the situation. I mean, really listening to those around you. Most of the time, they just want to know they've been heard.
Think about it and let me know YOUR thoughts.
Until next time.........have a glorious day!
Anyone who's read my previous posts knows I have a daughter with Asperger's. Well, several months back, we joined a local Charlotte group of Aspies. It's been great!! In fact, I think I enjoy the group more than my daughter.
I talk to this group (my new friends) and am just amazed at how smart and open they are! Sure, they have difficulties in social situations and so forth, but who doesn't from time to time. I've become close to some in the group and really enjoy my conversations with them. It's actually helped me with Halee as well, since a lot of the group are adults. They know they're different and try to make up for it. Honestly, I don't see where they need to make up for anything. So, they're different....so what?!
We're all different!! Isn't that the point? Superficially, we're all different. Fundamentally, we're all the same. We want to be liked and accepted for who we are. Everyone wants to be happy....and coming to that:
I had a conversation this past weekend from one of the members of the Aspie Group and it got pretty deep. Which suits me just fine! We started talking about happiness and choices. He couldn't believe that I had had any bad or depressing moments in my life. He said, "But you seem so Happy-Go-Lucky". I told him it was my choice to be so. I could wallow in those bad moments in my life or I could take the lessons offered and make myself a better, more compassionate person. I choose the latter....always will. I told him the bad things are always in your face, but it seems the good things are harder to find. But, most people live with their eyes closed. The happiest things in life are the simplest....the rising of the sun, the wind through your hair, a child's laugh.
Is it right that we take those things for granted? And I know everyone right now (especially in this country) are feeling things in a bad way. But, isn't this time when we should be coming together? To realize that that fancy car or house isn't what is going to make us truly happy? Everyone is into the "blame game" as well. Blaming the current president, blaming other countries, blaming the other guy. What about blaming yourselves? No one forced us to buy the big houses, over-extend our credit, not plan for the future. These problems started long ago.....it's called GREED!! And we are all to blame for it in one form or another.
But, that can change. We know what the problems are, so let's start looking for the solutions. I guess that's where my exchanges with the Aspie Group have helped. I look at the day-to-day issues they face, with social skills, anxieties, the works. A lot of them feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and have for years. Now, can you imagine that for yourself? What we feel is felt ten-fold by them! But, talking with them and helping them......I help not only myself, but everyone around me. I tell them, work on one thing at a time. Make a choice to be happy.
I was asked if that was hard to do on a daily basis. YES!! But, again, I could choose to live my life in fear or pain as well. I much prefer happiness. It really is worth the effort. I've told them to find that one thing that calms them. Use it as meditation, if you like. So then, when things seem out of control focus on that one thing that makes you calm.
And then again, (Have I said how much I love this group?) they asked about those who have no choice. Say, if you're faced with an impossible situation. I told them it's still a choice. If someone is holding a gun at your head, threatening to shoot....you can either shoot them first or allow them to shoot you. IT'S A CHOICE. Never said all the choices we make were good ones, just that they are choices. And once you realize that, it becomes easier to take that road less traveled....plus, it's more fun ;-)
Granted, you can't be happy all the time. How would one understand what true happiness is if you never experienced the pain and suffering of life? They go hand in hand. We just have to learn to be there for one another. Lately, it's been about "me, me, me" and not enough "we, we, we". That truly needs to change if the human race is to survive as a whole. By helping others, we truly help ourselves. And I don't mean just throwing money at the situation. I mean, really listening to those around you. Most of the time, they just want to know they've been heard.
Think about it and let me know YOUR thoughts.
Until next time.........have a glorious day!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Deep breathing...
So far, summer has been quite busy!! Started it off with finding out that our daughter failed math, looking to possibly put her in private school (which we could ill afford), visiting what family I could in the couple of days I had available, leaving our youngest daughter with our oldest for a week and a half, going to Charleston for much needed "alone" time with the hubby....PHEW and it's just July!!
I good thing to come out of all this....I'm actually getting back into shape! YAY!! I've been taking more walks, exercising more, listening to music vs watching TV and generally, just taking deeper breaths in my life. Everything is so unsettled, but I'm not letting it get me down. There is a way through it and I just need to focus on that. I find it easier to do that when I'm out walking. I don't do what most people do nowadays, iPod and earplugs. I want to listen to what is going on around me...from the bird singing in the tree to the traffic going down the street. It allows me to truly be a part of what's going on. I can't do that if I ignore it.
I may not be completely happy with where my life is at this point, but I'm not giving up on it either. There's always something new around the corner......
I good thing to come out of all this....I'm actually getting back into shape! YAY!! I've been taking more walks, exercising more, listening to music vs watching TV and generally, just taking deeper breaths in my life. Everything is so unsettled, but I'm not letting it get me down. There is a way through it and I just need to focus on that. I find it easier to do that when I'm out walking. I don't do what most people do nowadays, iPod and earplugs. I want to listen to what is going on around me...from the bird singing in the tree to the traffic going down the street. It allows me to truly be a part of what's going on. I can't do that if I ignore it.
I may not be completely happy with where my life is at this point, but I'm not giving up on it either. There's always something new around the corner......
Monday, May 30, 2011
Happy Memorial Day!!
Happy Memorial Day to everyone out there.....whether you're in the US or not! I don't consider this just a US holiday. This holiday is for everyone who's ever fought for something they believe in because when you do so, you're fighting for the freedom to believe in your thoughts, values, etc.
Life is a journey. ENJOY IT!!! Just because you may not believe in the same thing someone else does, doesn't mean they shouldn't have that opportunity to believe in it. Always get the different view points. That doesn't make you disloyal to your beliefs. Just makes it that much easier for you to understand where other people are coming from and visa versa.
Speaking of journeys, I've been reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead and am finding that that book is talking about the journey. Your destination just gives you a point of reference. At least, that's what I'm picking up from it. It just seems very much like common sense to me. But I think you'll find that point made in most spiritual writings and in Hollywood.
National Lampoons Vacation comes to mind....Remember, their destination was Wally World, but the movie was about their journey, not the destination. That only came at the end. And what a journey!!! I'm sure we all have our own "journey" stories. Some good, some bad. But they all make us who we are and those lessons will only help in the future.
As scary as it seems....just leave yourself open for the experiences that come your way. Doesn't mean you have to participate in everything, but just be aware they're out there. And always give more than you take. I've found that by giving more than I take and doing so freely, I always have something given to me in return. Doesn't mean it's what I want, but it's usually what I need. :-)
Enjoy the rest of your day!! And be sure to thank those who've fought for what we have today....everywhere!
Life is a journey. ENJOY IT!!! Just because you may not believe in the same thing someone else does, doesn't mean they shouldn't have that opportunity to believe in it. Always get the different view points. That doesn't make you disloyal to your beliefs. Just makes it that much easier for you to understand where other people are coming from and visa versa.
Speaking of journeys, I've been reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead and am finding that that book is talking about the journey. Your destination just gives you a point of reference. At least, that's what I'm picking up from it. It just seems very much like common sense to me. But I think you'll find that point made in most spiritual writings and in Hollywood.
National Lampoons Vacation comes to mind....Remember, their destination was Wally World, but the movie was about their journey, not the destination. That only came at the end. And what a journey!!! I'm sure we all have our own "journey" stories. Some good, some bad. But they all make us who we are and those lessons will only help in the future.
As scary as it seems....just leave yourself open for the experiences that come your way. Doesn't mean you have to participate in everything, but just be aware they're out there. And always give more than you take. I've found that by giving more than I take and doing so freely, I always have something given to me in return. Doesn't mean it's what I want, but it's usually what I need. :-)
Enjoy the rest of your day!! And be sure to thank those who've fought for what we have today....everywhere!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Uniqueness
Hello Everyone,
Just wanted to touch on a subject that has always been important to me....Our own uniqueness. I've seen more of that recently when dealing with my youngest, who has Aspergers. We've started attending group meetings here in Charlotte for people and family members dealing with Aspergers. This group was started by individuals with Aspergers. They are a GREAT group of people!!!
For all the social difficulties they have, they're smart, funny and so totally their own person. I love this group! And, the best part, Halee has started coming out of herself more. It seems to me that if you give people a little patience and understanding, anything can happen.
Why should we conform to what society tells us to want and expect? Isn't life about the unexpected?? We should always look forward to differences in those we deal with. If we were all the same, it would be a pretty boring world!!! The only thing we should be the same in is that we're all human, prone to mistakes and be open to other view points. Never hurts to listen to a different idea. That's how greatness starts.
So, the next time you see someone on the street, in the workplace, etc who isn't quite what you expect....don't ask yourself if you should avoid them, but how you can learn from them.
EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS!!!!
Just wanted to touch on a subject that has always been important to me....Our own uniqueness. I've seen more of that recently when dealing with my youngest, who has Aspergers. We've started attending group meetings here in Charlotte for people and family members dealing with Aspergers. This group was started by individuals with Aspergers. They are a GREAT group of people!!!
For all the social difficulties they have, they're smart, funny and so totally their own person. I love this group! And, the best part, Halee has started coming out of herself more. It seems to me that if you give people a little patience and understanding, anything can happen.
Why should we conform to what society tells us to want and expect? Isn't life about the unexpected?? We should always look forward to differences in those we deal with. If we were all the same, it would be a pretty boring world!!! The only thing we should be the same in is that we're all human, prone to mistakes and be open to other view points. Never hurts to listen to a different idea. That's how greatness starts.
So, the next time you see someone on the street, in the workplace, etc who isn't quite what you expect....don't ask yourself if you should avoid them, but how you can learn from them.
EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS!!!!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Persistence
Hi Kiddies,
Today's lesson.....Persistence. After my last entry, I was told to hang in there. I would come through it and that I'd always been persistent. Thanks Dad!! Then I got to thinking of all the times I was persistent. Like when I used to climb over the fence in the backyard when I was 5, even after I was told not to do that (although, I'm pretty sure that's not what my dad meant ;-). But the thought brought a smile to my face. So I thought some more and realized my main persistence in life was to be happy.
And when I talk about being happy, I'm not talking about all the usual ways people make themselves happy. Material things are nice, but nothing to rely on. To me, happiness is when you're comfortable with yourself. Sure, you may not have the career you want, or the house, car, etc. But, can you live with yourself, day in and day out? Some people call that inner peace.
It always makes people frustrated when I'm asked what I want out of life only to tell them that I just want to be happy. The question that is always asked after that....."what does that mean?" For me, it means smiling when your sad, giving comfort when you're tired and to realize that no matter where a person comes from....we're ALL HUMAN! Enjoy the journey, twists, turns and all.
I know, I know, this is a reoccurring theme with me. What can I say...I'm persistent :-p There are always silver linings in life! You just have to look within yourself to find them. No one else can do that for you.
Well, that's all I have time for now....I promise to share more of my "persistent" youth next time. Remember, smile! It's just life ;-)
Today's lesson.....Persistence. After my last entry, I was told to hang in there. I would come through it and that I'd always been persistent. Thanks Dad!! Then I got to thinking of all the times I was persistent. Like when I used to climb over the fence in the backyard when I was 5, even after I was told not to do that (although, I'm pretty sure that's not what my dad meant ;-). But the thought brought a smile to my face. So I thought some more and realized my main persistence in life was to be happy.
And when I talk about being happy, I'm not talking about all the usual ways people make themselves happy. Material things are nice, but nothing to rely on. To me, happiness is when you're comfortable with yourself. Sure, you may not have the career you want, or the house, car, etc. But, can you live with yourself, day in and day out? Some people call that inner peace.
It always makes people frustrated when I'm asked what I want out of life only to tell them that I just want to be happy. The question that is always asked after that....."what does that mean?" For me, it means smiling when your sad, giving comfort when you're tired and to realize that no matter where a person comes from....we're ALL HUMAN! Enjoy the journey, twists, turns and all.
I know, I know, this is a reoccurring theme with me. What can I say...I'm persistent :-p There are always silver linings in life! You just have to look within yourself to find them. No one else can do that for you.
Well, that's all I have time for now....I promise to share more of my "persistent" youth next time. Remember, smile! It's just life ;-)
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