The Good, The Bad and The Ugly......

My birthday is tomorrow. Another year wiser. I don't consider myself getting older, just more mature. Everyone always makes a big deal over getting older. It's inevitable. Doesn't mean you have to give up or accept that the best of life has passed you by once you reach the age of 30!

I'm constanly told that I don't look my age. For the record, I know I don't act the way people think someone my age should act. Don't get me wrong....I'm responsible (most of the time ;-), considerate and a displinarian for my daughter. In other words, completely grownup.

I take one day at a time while still planning for the future. I just don't belabor the point. My husband always asks what I expect and I'm constantly telling him that I go out of my way to have no real expectations. This way the disappointment is minimal, but the rewards are great. Not that I don't want to be treated with respect and consideration. I just feel that we always expect something to turn out a certain way and if it doesn't....we're let down. Especially when you've put those high expectations on other people.

Hence, the title for this post.....

We need to experience all of it; the good, the bad and especially the ugly. In other words, we're all in a Clint Eastwood movie all of our lives. It's what shapes us, gives us our stories for our kids and grandkids and brings us closer to our fellow human beings.

It's how we deal with life's curve balls that determines who we are personally. I guess the only true expectations I have in life that as much as I feel joy, I'll also feel pain. If we refuse to see both sides how can we determine which fork in the road we can take. Sure, we'll take the shorter route at times....after all, we are only human. But nothing beats taking the long way. The sights, sounds and lessons are all irreplacable.

They can make us stronger or they can destroy us. But, always know that that desicison is always up to you. No one can make that final judgement for you on how you handle each situation. Another person only has that much control if you allow it. Don'tallow it. Make up your own mind; it's why we were given it.

And for those of us, due to mental illness (yes, I said it) or any other disorder, it's a cop-out for us to not make that desicion for ourselves. Do you really think those who truly cannot make those desicions want to be that way? So by helping ourselves, we help them.

Never become jaded!!! There's so much in life, that if you let it, can bring you joy everyday. And most of those are the simplest of things....seeing my daughter smile, playing with my dog or just feeling the breeze on my face. Never take them for granted. I may not feel my age, but I won't live forever either. When my time comes, I want to feel that I've made the most of every moment, whether I live a shack or a mansion.

So....what will you do?

Life's little stressers

Well, schoool's out for the summer. Two weeks to the move back east and still packing!! This is definitely going to be a summer of change. My daughter will be in high school next year, new place, new job. But....closer to family.

The move is, actually, bittersweet. I've grown to love Arizona and all its diversity. However, I do miss the green of the east coast and being close to family. I'm leaving behind new friends and a job that I've grown to love (and hate) just as I would any family. It's scary and exciting all at once.

The only real negative...no job to go to right now. I feel like in I'm in a Bon Jovi song....Livin' on a Prayer!! Keep smiling....;-)

I guess it's testament to my love and faith in my husband that I not only moved out to Arizona 6 years ago, no job, but now I'm moving across country again, no job. Hey, as long as we're all together.........

To all those that have gone before me, thanks for paving the way. To those that have yet to make that decision, one foot forward will start it. No time like the present!

Differences

Living here in Arizona, you get to see many differences. The first you will notice is the climate. In the North, it is usually 10 degrees cooler than in the South. The next thing you notice is that all the green appears to be up North. More desert in the South. Travelled up to the Petrified Forest/Painted Desert this weekend. Amazingly beautiful!!! It's amazing as you start from Phoenix, you see desert and low mountains. As you start to travel North, more fir trees and more mountains. This time of year, there was even still snow on the ground! Then you come toward Holbrook....It's a plateau. You're at a higher elevation, but the ground is pretty flat!! Lots of scrub brush, some squat trees and it looks like it will go on forever!

God did good! He even made each human being different from another. It's these differences that bring us together. Think about it....If we were all the same, what would we learn? What would we actually see? Sameness, predictability and safety. If we all live in a cocoon, we never move forward.

It's our fear that tears us apart, not our differences. Sure, the unknown is scary! But are we truly unknown from one another? We're all human. We all live and we all die. We all cry. We all love and we all hate. When it matters most, we are all the same. It's our minor differences that make us unique.....the color of our hair, eyes, skin. Our family values, our faith.

Science has brought us to places that would have been considered blasphemy years ago. Yet, science is still a part of God....no matter who or what that god may be. We should be rejoicing in our differences, just as we do our sameness. Does no one learn from the past? Why keep records at all if no one heeds them? Life will always hold challenges....

For instance...think about the Petrified Forest. These are trees that lived millions of years ago! They are no longer what they were, but they're not really dead either. They are living rock. Quartz so hard that only a diamond-tipped saw can cut it. I would call that tenacity! We all grow and change, even million-year old trees.

Everything around us was once something else. And none of it is ours. We just rent for a little while.

We need to get along as we're all we've got. We're here for a reason and need to make the best of it. Even if that reason is to just far off aliens years and years from now who we were, are and will be. Learn from the Earth. She has embraced her differences and moved forward, from the tiniest of microbe to the tallest of mountains.

We should help our fellow man, not pull him down. Two people with a difference of opinion can still both be right. There's always more than one side to every argument, story, problem and all should be explored.

So, next time you're in a bad mood just smile and say "Hi" to someone and see the response you get. You may be surprised to find the smile and goodwill returned in kind. And it took you 2 seconds to accomplish.

thoughts on paper

Truth vs Lies......how easy it is to blur one into the other. Truth...no one's perfect. Lie...you can attain perfection by changing yourself, physically or mentally.

Being a mother, with one teenage girl in the house, it's so hard to tell her that she is fine as she is. You have your peers undermining you to make them feel better about themselves. You have Hollywood and the media telling you you're not attractive unless you're a certain size, weight, etc. This is not a new issue. It's been going on practically since the beginning the birth of humans. It's amazing how much perfection means to humans vs all other species.

I love how everyone feels they have to lose 10 lbs to take a picture because that's how much weight the camera adds. Did anyone ever think of improving the cameras instead of having people dieting to death to fit the ideal camera weight?

When it all comes down to it....the only person we have to be happy with is ourselves. The only person you will always wake up with and go to bed with is yourself.

We should all enjoy the small things in life more.....the song of a bird, the way the clouds scuttle across the sky, or just the smile of those dearest to you. Learn to laugh at ourselves more.

My life has always been trial and error (like the majority of humanity) with errors usually winning the day ;-) But I enjoy those errors because they can give me a different perspective than I had before. Life is to be enjoyed above all else!! Of course, there has to be bad times. How else would we know what the good times felt like and how much they should be cherished!!

It's the same with any relationship you may have from parents to children to spouse to friends, etc. It's the epitome of honesty to go into a relationship knowing that it will never be perfect. It's not supposed to be. If it was, how would we grow and learn?

Again, we come to truth vs lies. We all lie to those we love. Whether it be to spare some one's feelings or just because we're scared to say how we truly feel. I'm all for truth, but don't get me wrong....I wouldn't want someone to be brutal with it. I would just like to know that when it's important to the relationship, truth will always win out.

I think I'll leave off with those thoughts for tonight.......

trials and tribulations

Well, another week gone by and still not done packing! But, honestly, I don't expect to be done until the day we move out....
It's exciting and scary at the same time. Exciting because we will be closer to family, but scary due to the fact that both of us will be straight commission! Can we do it? Yes! Just stressful. I can look at it this way...it will be a great time to go on a diet as we won't be able to eat out a lot anyway :-)
The hardest part will be getting our daughter straight. OCD and anxieties are really no fun when you have to deal with changes!
Driving cross-country too!! Daughter will be flying back with Mother-in-Law so I'll get to have some one-on-one time with the hubby (oh, and the dog who is NOT flying back with the daughter!). I've been told the drive from AZ to NC is great until you get to TX...then it's just flat.....
I'd like to think that every place has something to commend it. We'll be putting that to the test!

Ciao for now!

Change!

There's nothing like moving cross country to simplify your life and your belongings. It's amazing how much stuff we gather over the years!! It, also, helps you see what is really important in your life. However, it is extremely tiring...especially when you get rid of something just to have it turn back up again when you're not looking ;-)

Thought for the day

It's Friday!!! YEAH!!

And just a thought for everyone out there....whether your cup is half full or half empty, you still have something in your cup!! SMILE!!

First Time

This is my first time blogging, but thought....why not. Already talk a lot, might as well write it too! ;-) Not sure what I hope to get out of this, but wanted to try it out. Sometimes it's easier to talk anonomously than face to face.

Well, that's it for now...at work! I'll try to get back to it today.