A Little Credit......

Well, if the title isn't a loaded question, I don't know what is!

Anyone who's read my previous posts knows I have a daughter with Asperger's.  Well, several months back, we joined a local Charlotte group of Aspies.  It's been great!!  In fact, I think I enjoy the group more than my daughter.

I talk to this group (my new friends) and am just amazed at how smart and open they are!  Sure, they have difficulties in social situations and so forth, but who doesn't from time to time.  I've become close to some in the group and really enjoy my conversations with them.  It's actually helped me with Halee as well, since a lot of the group are adults.  They know they're different and try to make up for it.  Honestly, I don't see where they need to make up for anything.  So, they're different....so what?!

We're all different!!  Isn't that the point?  Superficially, we're all different.  Fundamentally, we're all the same.  We want to be liked and accepted for who we are.  Everyone wants to be happy....and coming to that:

I had a conversation this past weekend from one of the members of the Aspie Group and it got pretty deep.  Which suits me just fine!  We started talking about happiness and choices.  He couldn't believe that I had had any bad or depressing moments in my life.  He said, "But you seem so Happy-Go-Lucky".  I told him it was my choice to be so.  I could wallow in those bad moments in my life or I could take the lessons offered and make myself a better, more compassionate person.  I choose the latter....always will.  I told him the bad things are always in your face, but it seems the good things are harder to find.  But, most people live with their eyes closed.  The happiest things in life are the simplest....the rising of the sun, the wind through your hair, a child's laugh.

Is it right that we take those things for granted?  And I know everyone right now (especially in this country) are feeling things in a bad way.  But, isn't this time when we should be coming together?  To realize that that fancy car or house isn't what is going to make us truly happy?  Everyone is into the "blame game" as well.  Blaming the current president, blaming other countries, blaming the other guy.  What about blaming yourselves?  No one forced us to buy the big houses, over-extend our credit, not plan for the future.  These problems started long ago.....it's called GREED!!  And we are all to blame for it in one form or another.

But, that can change.  We know what the problems are, so let's start looking for the solutions.  I guess that's where my exchanges with the Aspie Group have helped.  I look at the day-to-day issues they face, with social  skills, anxieties, the works. A lot of them feel overwhelmed on a daily basis and have for years.  Now, can you imagine that for yourself?  What we feel is felt ten-fold by them!  But, talking with them and helping them......I help not only myself, but everyone around me.  I tell them, work on one thing at a time.  Make a choice to be happy.

I was asked if that was hard to do on a daily basis.  YES!!  But, again, I could choose to live my life in fear or pain as well.  I much prefer happiness.  It really is worth the effort.  I've told them to find that one thing that calms them.  Use it as meditation, if you like.  So then, when things seem out of control focus on that one thing that makes you calm.

And then again, (Have I said how much I love this group?) they asked about those who have no choice.  Say, if you're faced with an impossible situation.  I told them it's still a choice.  If someone is holding a gun at your head, threatening to shoot....you can either shoot them first or allow them to shoot you.  IT'S A CHOICE.  Never said all the choices we make were good ones, just that they are choices.  And once you realize that, it becomes easier to take that road less traveled....plus, it's more fun ;-)

Granted, you can't be happy all the time.  How would one understand what true happiness is if you never experienced the pain and suffering of life?  They go hand in hand.  We just have to learn to be there for one another.  Lately, it's been about "me, me, me" and not enough "we, we, we".  That truly needs to change if the human race is to survive as a whole.  By helping others, we truly help ourselves.  And I don't mean just throwing money at the situation.  I mean, really listening to those around you.  Most of the time, they just want to know they've been heard.

Think about it and let me know YOUR thoughts.

Until next time.........have a glorious day!

Deep breathing...

So far, summer has been quite busy!!  Started it off with finding out that our daughter failed math, looking to possibly put her in private school (which we could ill afford), visiting what family I could in the couple of days I had available, leaving our youngest daughter with our oldest for a week and a half, going to Charleston for much needed "alone" time with the hubby....PHEW and it's just July!!

I good thing to come out of all this....I'm actually getting back into shape!  YAY!!  I've been taking more walks, exercising more, listening to music vs watching TV and generally, just taking deeper breaths in my life.  Everything is so unsettled, but I'm not letting it get me down.  There is a way through it and I just need to focus on that.  I find it easier to do that when I'm out walking.  I don't do what most people do nowadays, iPod and earplugs.  I want to listen to what is going on around me...from the bird singing in the tree to the traffic going down the street.  It allows me to truly be a part of what's going on.  I can't do that if I ignore it.

I may not be completely happy with where my life is at this point, but I'm not giving up on it either.  There's always something new around the corner......

Happy Memorial Day!!

Happy Memorial Day to everyone out there.....whether you're in the US or not!  I don't consider this just a US holiday.  This holiday is for everyone who's ever fought for something they believe in because when you do so, you're fighting for the freedom to believe in your thoughts, values, etc.

Life is a journey.  ENJOY IT!!! Just because you may not believe in the same thing someone else does, doesn't mean they shouldn't have that opportunity to believe in it.  Always get the different view points.  That doesn't make you disloyal to your beliefs.  Just makes it that much easier for you to understand where other people are coming from and visa versa.

Speaking of journeys, I've been reading the Tibetan Book of the Dead and am finding that that book is talking about the journey.  Your destination just gives you a point of reference.  At least, that's what I'm picking up from it.  It just seems very much like common sense to me.  But I think you'll find that point made in most spiritual writings and in Hollywood.

National Lampoons Vacation comes to mind....Remember, their destination was Wally World, but the movie was about their journey, not the destination.  That only came at the end.  And what a journey!!!  I'm sure we all have our own "journey" stories.  Some good, some bad.  But they all make us who we are and those lessons will only help in the future.

As scary as it seems....just leave yourself open for the experiences that come your way.  Doesn't mean you have to participate in everything, but just be aware they're out there.  And always give more than you take.  I've found that by giving more than I take and doing so freely, I always have something given to me in return.  Doesn't mean it's what I want, but it's usually what I need. :-)

Enjoy the rest of your day!!  And be sure to thank those who've fought for what we have today....everywhere!

Uniqueness

Hello Everyone,

Just wanted to touch on a subject that has always been important to me....Our own uniqueness.  I've seen more of that recently when dealing with my youngest, who has Aspergers.  We've started attending group meetings here in Charlotte for people and family members dealing with Aspergers.  This group was started by individuals with Aspergers.  They are a GREAT group of people!!!

For all the social difficulties they have, they're smart, funny and so totally their own person.  I love this group!  And, the best part, Halee has started coming out of herself more.  It seems to me that if you give people a little patience and understanding, anything can happen.

Why should we conform to what society tells us to want and expect?  Isn't life about the unexpected??  We should always look forward to differences in those we deal with.  If we were all the same, it would be a pretty boring world!!!  The only thing we should be the same in is that we're all human, prone to mistakes and be open to other view points.  Never hurts to listen to a different idea.  That's how greatness starts.

So, the next time you see someone on the street, in the workplace, etc who isn't quite what you expect....don't ask yourself if you should avoid them, but how you can learn from them.

EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS!!!!

Persistence

Hi Kiddies,

Today's lesson.....Persistence.  After my last entry, I was told to hang in there.  I would come through it and that I'd always been persistent.  Thanks Dad!!  Then I got to thinking of all the times I was persistent. Like when I used to climb over the fence in the backyard when I was 5, even after I was told not to do that (although, I'm pretty sure that's not what my dad meant ;-).  But the thought brought a smile to my face.  So I thought some more and realized my main persistence in life was to be happy.

And when I talk about being happy, I'm not talking about all the usual ways people make themselves happy.  Material things are nice, but nothing to rely on.  To me, happiness is when you're comfortable with yourself.  Sure, you may not have the career you want, or the house, car, etc.  But, can you live with yourself, day in and day out?  Some people call that inner peace.

It always makes people frustrated when I'm asked what I want out of life only to tell them that I just want to be happy.  The question that is always asked after that....."what does that mean?"  For me, it means smiling when your sad, giving comfort when you're tired and to realize that no matter where a person comes from....we're ALL HUMAN!  Enjoy the journey, twists, turns and all.

I know, I know, this is a reoccurring theme with me.  What can I say...I'm persistent :-p  There are always silver linings in life!  You just have to look within yourself to find them.  No one else can do that for you.

Well, that's all I have time for now....I promise to share more of my "persistent" youth next time.  Remember, smile!  It's just life ;-)

Back on track!!

It's been a long year!!!  Moved cross country, bought a house, found a job, daughter has been to 2 schools and the list goes on....

Beautiful weather on the east coast today!!  I sorely missed the springs living in AZ for 6 years.  However, really could use a little less rain ;-)  All in all, life is good. I'm closer to family and I work with a great group of people.  I guess the only thing I have to complain about is dealing with my youngest daughter.  It's been a little over a year now since we found out she has Asperger's.  Not that that's really changed anything.  It just gives us more options to get her help and support.  But the move has been really hard on her.  She doesn't take change well at all.

She started high school this and because we didn't buy a house until December, she's had to go to 2 different high schools.  She tells me she has friends, but because they are related to school, she won't have contact with them after school.  I know patience is the key, but it's hard when you know they're hurting and there's not much you can do about it!  I'm "Mom" and I'm supposed to tell her everything will be all right, that this is just a blip in her life, etc, etc.  I try not to let it bring me down....I will persevere!!  Even if I have to drag her behind me, kicking and screaming.

Recently joined a group in my area for those dealing with Asperger's.  It's a really great group!!  The group was started by individuals with Asperger's.  Last night was our first time at the group meeting.  I think this will be a good thing for my daughter.  She'll be able to see others who have the same diagnosis and how they've learned to cope.  I know I found enlightening speaking to everyone.

What can I say?  I always look for the silver lining.....

Have you smiled today?  Made someone else feel good just by saying "hello"?

Try it...... :-)  Happy Easter, Passover, etc. etc.